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destispell:

men: rape jokes hahaha! beating women haha! lol make me a sandwich whore! put on makeup fugly! hahaha!

women: those aren’t funny.

men: lighten up, it’s a joke wow must be on her period women are so emotional lol

women: i drink the tears of men, haha!

men: hOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU PROMOTE THE SUFFERING OF US MEN? DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE HAVE DONE FOR YOU? YOU WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT US. THATS NOT FUNNY AT ALL

pityfriend:

wait??? both you and myself have genitals??? well we need to find a way to celebrate immediately 

How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:

  • *Man walks into a store and finds employee*
  • Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
  • Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
  • Man: I never filled out an application.
  • Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
  • Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
  • Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
  • Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
  • Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
  • Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
  • Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
  • Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
  • Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
  • Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
  • Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
  • Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
  • Employee:
  • Man:
  • Employee:
  • Man: Fuck you, slut.

sirlightbulb:

finding out the heights of your internet friends is always the weirdest thing

angle-of-depression:

nothingcorporate:

opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples

everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant 

But all you ever see are men’s

15piecesofflare:

experminate:

thehighwayaisle:

You know sweatpants?

In Australia we call them trakky-dacks. 

im starting to think you aussies are just fucking with us

we actually aren’t and that’s the horrendous part.

ignitionremix:

it’s a beautiful day to give me money